Prioritizing Happiness

One of the most memorable professors I had was my psychology and human development professor during my sophomore year of high school. Everyone took the class because it was an easy "A" for college credit, but I thought the subject was so interesting. One conversation in particular really stuck with me. The professor stood in front of his desk with his coffee in hand and casually asked us what we wanted to be. A couple of students raised their hands and answered what they thought their careers would be - a doctor, a lawyer, a professor. He nodded and asked where we saw ourselves in 5-10 years. The answers were similar, such as studying in graduate school, starting a business, and beginning our careers. He looked at all of us with a pitying look and said, "I noticed none of you said you wanted to be happy." The whole class was silent for a few beats. I realized with a tinge of horror that the thought hadn't even occurred to me. All of our goals were centered around our careers, not around our life, hobbies, or happiness. Most adults expected you to answer with your career choice, so it was the first thing that came to mind.

I began to think of how weird it all was. Why did we ask children, who are just beginning to develop a sense of self, what they wanted to be when they grew up and expect a career as an answer? Why don't we expect "to be a good person" or "to be happy" first and foremost? From a young age, I understood well that nothing in life is free and I would need to have a well-paying career to have a good life. Yet, as an adult, I'm struggling to understand who I am and what things bring joy into my life. What's even worse, is I have difficulty separating my self-worth from my career. I often feel unfulfilled when I do not have a job that is constantly keeping me engaged or where my work goes unnoticed. I will prioritize work over eating and taking care of myself if it becomes too stressful. I know many other people feel similarly, regardless of their careers. This isn't to say a career cannot be part of someone's overall happiness; my career is definitely a part of mine. But that's it, it's only a small piece of what makes me feel happy and fulfilled.

I wonder what life would be like if we started prioritizing our own happiness over all else. I think part of the reason we all prioritize our jobs, aside from money, is because that is what other people judge us based on. We all want a job we can proudly speak about to others because that is one of the first things a stranger will ask when getting to know you. What about people's hobbies? I wish we encouraged people to try more things without being the best at them. I'm much better at programming than writing, but writing is fun and relaxing for me, so I do it almost equally as much. Life is full of so many things that we get to experience, I think it's a waste to not try new things out of fear of failure or subpar performance. As a perfectionist, it was really hard to come to terms with not immediately being great at anything I tried. After I pushed past this embarrassment and fear of failure, a lot more things in life opened up for me.

I think happiness is not hard to achieve, but it's hard to maintain. Your favorite song may come on the radio, making happiness bubble up in your chest. However, it quickly dissipates when you come to a screeching halt in a terrible traffic jam. Happiness is something that has to be worked at and practiced. Small and insignificant nuisances tend to cloud our moods because it's hard to let these negative feelings go. We've learned to keep our heads down and survive day to day, hoping for things to get better. We prioritize our family, our jobs, and our reputations before our own happiness. While it is important to pay bills and have a job we can be proud of, it isn't all that we are. We are humans with so many complex interests and skills. It isn't possible to be happy every second of every day, but I think happiness is just as worthy of pursuit as a promotion. It takes effort to begin to change our mindsets to search for what makes us happy and who we are at our core. With practice, it becomes easier, and you begin to feel like you're just trying to survive until the weekend arrives less and less. This is something I'm still working on every day, but I like to think I am getting better at prioritizing my happiness. This is the only life I'll live, so I would rather try to make it as exciting and fun as I can.

What things make you happy? Do you do them often? Have you been pushing them off? Have you wanted to try something, but you're too scared? When was the last time you tried something new? When was the last time you felt content? You have the power to prioritize the things you love and pursue happiness. It sometimes gets lost in the daily routine and shuffle, but it can become a habit just as anything else.